This unexpected turn of events enabled everyone to catch a glimpse of the awful long johns: the kind made for boys - as evidenced by the roomy crotch (my brother and I each received a pair) I was sporting underneath my ugly brown cords. My father forced me to wear them - he often picked out the drab, homely clothing he thought were warm, cheap, appropriate and fat enough for me to wear. My friends gasped and quickly alerted me. My brother's cute best friend, Kyle, happened to be watching and laughed uncontrollably at my humiliating predicament (I still remember his squeals), before he was mercifully chastised by my friends. I'm surprised this incident did not inspire a demeaning jump rope rhyme - or a revamping of an original, in my honour:
Dressed in yella
Went to meet her handsome fella.
On the way her brown cords busted
How many people were disgusted?
1! 2! 3! 4! (etc.)
I couldn't pull my pants fast enough and declined other invitations to jump rope later that week - it was too soon.